Archive | August 2016

Almost Naked Packing

I apologize for using “Naked” in my blog title, but “Nude”might have been worse!

What to take in the way of clothing on my upcoming trip? Shirts, clean underwear in case of hospital visit, socks, shoes, and, and….

It has been 29 degrees C. in Los Angeles, and up to 35 degrees farther north. In Denmark we never put our Winter Jackets away, due to the Cool Summer and now Cooler Autumn on the way!

Jackets? Nope. Dress Clothing? Camping, and other things. Visiting my family, if found along the way, and, and…I can’t see the point in dressing up for something, that will only cost me more money in the end.

“Oh, your wife is not going, I presume?”

Wonder Dog and I, can get by on almost nothing at all, which brings me back to the title of this blog!

It might be better to change the title, “What not to pack”, or “Seamless Encounters with my Suitcases”. Perhaps something like, “Threadbare and see-through Accessories”.

All in all, I won’t be worrying about taking too much unnecessary clothing.

Just enough, not to be detained at the airport for indecent exposure!…..

 

 

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Where Is The Travel Fairy?

We’ve started the packing stage, Wonder Dog and I. We’ve put our disagreements aside for a while in order to get through this most difficult of all phases.

I’ve convinced myself that there exists a Travel Fairy, who helps out in instances such as these, when everything that is anything exists on the floors, the tabletops and in my mind.

All thoughts of glory, the wonders of traveling and the excitement of experiencing new things have been lost in the mess that surrounds me.

What was I thinking of, when I decided to take this trip?

Whose fault is it?

How in the world can I make heads of tails of this mess?

Wonder Dog just relaxes on the floor, waiting for the next meal, or toss of his squeaky football.

IMG_4613

Does he look worried? I think not.

You’d think that man’s best friend would help his owner out in this instance. Point his paw in the right direction, or call the Travel Fairy, and ask for her help!

IMG_4615

“Just the essentials? Aced that one!”, he said before he fell back asleep…….

Traveling – Stop While You are Ahead

WordPress has been a bit more tricky now than it ever has before.

50 posts

I’m not sure if this is encouragement, or a warning of impending danger?

I should really stop, and let the readers imagine where I am, what I’m doing and who I am doing it with!

Otherwise there would be nothing left to the imagination!

A make-yourself-travel-blog can use the following elements:

I am traveling to:

I am traveling with:

I plan on:

I returned on:

Then I could use a number of keywords, in which the rest of you could place them on the other side of the questions and draw lines from/to the ones that fit best.

Botswana, a beautiful woman, Los Angeles, Down my inner ear, total boredom.

You see. Already there are a number of possibilities, which can be used. I might just lean back into my recliner, and wait until the rest of you take the trip for me. It should be a lot less stressful, and most definitely cheaper, then me using my time and money just for the sake of entertaining others!

“He stopped at 50 Blogs! Does anyone know why?”

There would be the usual clamoring throngs of True Believers pounding on my Blog Site, wondering why “50” was enough?

Will he be doing a new site? Why are we alive on this planet, at this time?

Is there really a God?

Alas. I don’t have the answers to all those questions, and I won’t even promise any answers in another blog.

Some things just have to be left to the imagination……

Is It Much Further?

Once upon a time, way back when in Los Angeles, I was on the way home from somewhere to somewhere else, when my niece asked, “How much farther is it?”

We told her 5 miles, then 3 miles, then 1 mile, then ½ mile etc. until we ran out of 54/64th of a mile to pacify her with.

I’ve tried to explain how distance in the United States uses miles, instead of kilometers, just as I’ve used Dollars converted from Danish Kroner.

Wonder Dog just shakes his head in disdain. How could any Country use things like miles, while the rest of the world have used the metric system for quite some time. OK. Perhaps not in Great Britain, where they alternate between the one and the other, and also not in Québec, where they describe distances using “time to get there” instead of “how many kilometers”. Each to his/her own, you might say, but try to convince a level-headed Poodle of that fact!

Let’s take a simple example: We are driving from point A to point B. Wonder Dog asks at this juncture if point A is the name of a town/city, or it is A for Adam, as a lot of people in the USA are believers? No. A just means the starting point, sort of like Alpha.

alpha

I use the symbol for Alpha in order to get through this very easy example of distance from A-B.

Wonder Dog interjects once again. If Alpha is the starting point, then Omega should be the finishing point.

A point well taken. OK. In the spirit of Cooperation and simplification, we’ll use omega

Omega

Now then, if we were traveling from α to ψ, then..

Wonder Dog has his paw up once again. He points out that ψ is the letter psi, and not omega, which any fool could see in the above photo.

I don’t think that this is the time, nor the place for insults, when I am just trying to make a  point about distance in the United States.

Let’s consider the following:

alpha omega

Source: wikipedia.org

Now we have both of the culprits: Both Alpha and Omega. Together again. The first and the last.

Where was I? Some might say, “Denmark”, but the jury is still out on that one!

If we are traveling from alpha to Omega, not having them symbolize any particular town, and or city, and or belief, and or…where was I?

Wonder Dog has fallen asleep. I’d like to think that my original point has been made and everyone, including both he and I, is completely in the know about distances in the USA!

If though, anyone still has their doubts, I refer to the following video.

which shows how even the most patient of us, can lose their temper due to distractions along the way……

Basic Outline for Upcoming Trip

  1. Day 1. Land in Los Angeles
  2. Day 2 Spent in Los Angeles
  3. Day 3 Wasted in Los Angeles, leaving for other places
  4. Days 4-19, Not in Los Angeles
  5. Day 20, In Los Angeles leaving for Denmark

If anyone needs to get in touch with me, then day 1 and 20 will be the best ones to do so.

Days 2 and 3 are in Los Angeles, but without having the ability to track our rental vehicle, then I would put my money on Day 1, or 20 if I were you!

The in between days, not being spent in Los Angeles, are spent other places.


More details? Remember how we used to do it in the olden days when we used to send postcards. “Hi Dad, wish you were her!”

Hi there. We are lying on the beach at Bunken Camping right now, located underneath Mt Shasta!  Billy stepped on a Jellyfish, and Sally tried to relieve herself to see if it helped! Don’t fall for those old wive’s tales, even in the old country here in Denmark!

We are having a great time, but then when you are with your Danish Family, and there is a truckload of Carlsberg, and Tuborg Beers around, then anything can be Great!

We got here on day 1, but 2 and 3 are a bit blurry after drinking all those beers. On day 4 we are planning on seeing this Church:

237

It might look old and faded, but that is the whole point about visiting the Old Country!

The rest of the days are no matter, as we have probably already returned home and are all having a laugh with you, while drinking the rest of the Tuborg, and Carlsberg beers!

Skål say the Danes, which is Cheers for the rest of the world, I think?

Can’t wait until we visit Los Angeles next year! Hope they have more Beers in the United States, and strong ones, if we are going to use 3 weeks over there, doing Family things again!

We’ll be sure to write a new postcard, destined for your refrigerator!

Yours Sincerely…………………….

 

Who Does What and When? Travel Insurance, and Other Loose Ends.

Traveling. New experiences. People to meet and greet.

Bah!

Buy this, but not that. Insurance? My own, or other policies? What covers what and who?

Use cellphone in the USA. New Cellphone provider. Roaming?

Wonder Dog is restless. Walk or no walk? Cheese, or chips? Where are my friends, he asks? What is all this telephoning business got to do with me?

Travel from point A to point B. By plane, no less. Mornings cost more than evenings!

“Have I ordered an evening flight? I need a morning flight.”

“-No problem sir, that can be arranged. At only twice the price. What? The weather here in New Delhi? Warm, very warm.”

Funny, I thought I was calling Seattle, Washington?

“When you get to the car rental agency, don’t let them sell you more insurance. You are probably covered on your home insurance.”

“Hello, Home Insurance Company. Am I covered with theft in a rental car in New Delhi? No, sorry. A rental car in Los Angeles? What? Do I need to call to New Delhi to find out? 1-800 numbers don’t work from Denmark. “Have a nice day, sir”. Thanks, but I’m not going to New Delhi on this trip. At least, I don’t think so….”

Wonder Dog looks out of the window. Bark! Look there, someone is walking by. Dog or no Dog, it still is interesting to say, Bark!

Download our App and check your flight schedule. App-store. Downloading. Downloading. Sorry, your Ios is too old. Perhaps you should buy a new telephone before your trip? Iphone 6s with 64 Gb perhaps? Apple recommends their own insurance, otherwise any other repairs will null and void your warranty. Deductible? Yes, this is your lucky day, your deductible is only ½ the price of the monthly payments, spread out across 7 years, of course!

My table is still a mess. My suitcase is not packed. My travel papers lie about in piles.

Wonder Dog stretches again. Walk, did anyone say walk? No problem. You probably could use a few minutes outside in the fresh air! I can help you with that…

The cellphone rings. “Hello, you have just spoken with our Customer Service Department. Would you be interested in helping us to help you better by taking a survey about your last call? It will only take 1 minute, and there are no prizes involved with your participation.”

5 days until Wonder Dog and I are to travel. 5 days of uncertainty. 5 days of endless planning, without being able to complete anything.

Chat with our service department. Cheapoair is at your service. Chat function is set to your local language. Swahili anyone?

The weather in Denmark? Breezy and 18 degrees C. No, no rain today. 28 degrees and thunderstorms in New Delhi. Is it too much to pack a raincoat, when it is so warm?

I’d better call the Car Rental Agency, then the airlines, both international and domestic, then my Insurance Company, then check my passport.
-And some people assured me that travel to India was as easy as travel to Los Angeles……

 

 

Travel Itinerary – Work in Progress

I’ve been getting requests for my travel itinerary concerning my upcoming trip to the United States. I’ve made a few rough drafts, but haven’t worked out the final details as yet.


  1. Born in California
  2. Lived one place
  3. Lived another place
  4. Lived yet another place
  5. Met who is now my wife
  6. Moved to Denmark
  7. and then
  8. and then
  9. OK. I guess that wasn’t exactly what you would call an itinerary

i·tin·er·ar·y

(ī-tĭn′ə-rĕr′ē, ĭ-tĭn′-)

n. pl. i·tin·er·ar·ies

1. A route or proposed route of a journey.
2. An account or record of a journey.
3. A guidebook for travelers.

adj.

1. Of or relating to a journey or route.
2. Traveling from place to place; itinerant.
source: Thefreedictionary.com
The story of my life is an Itinerary of sorts, and is directly related to my upcoming trip, but I’ll try to keep my sights on Number 1: A proposed route of a journey.

1. Travel from Denmark to United States
2. Do various things
3. Return to Denmark

I realize that my Itinerary, still isn’t complete, but I am progressing toward the final draft!

1. Discussed trip with Wonder Dog
2. We brainstormed a number of ideas
3. We disagreed as to how many dog toys should be taken
4. 2 Round Trip tickets purchased
5. Hidden stash of Dog Toys found in secret pocket in my suitcase
6. Reevaluation of Travel Goals
7. Wonder Dog outlined his demands as to seating arrangements
8. Arrangements for Rental Car with additional driver booked
9. New discussion about number of Squeaky Footballs, and Rubber Chicken Heads to take
10. Agree that this is not the final draft

Still 5 days to go. Details of Final Draft still on drawing board.
To be continued…..